Wednesday, December 19, 2012
Oh, it's me again.
I have a very important secret to keep.
Ahhhh, dying.
I haven't had anything to eat in 2 days and I'm feeling super emo.
I would really like to get away from everything just for a day.
Free from work, free from mood swings, free from everything that I am right now.
But I KNOW that I am lucky. Just need a break to clear up the emotional fog to FEEL lucky.
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cherie scribbled at 3:19 AM
Saturday, March 31, 2012
It's freaking 7.30 in the morning and i'm already pissed off.
There are 2 types of girls I hate.
(might be more, but I've only encountered these 2 recently, so of course they deserve a mention)
The first type: The insecure bitch (this is my assumption)
So basically, Ben and I went to his friend HM's wedding.
We've never met the bride before la. We were there for their ROM (which was empty and they were late. Tsk tsk) there, I smiled to her but she looked away. Quite rude right? But it's ok, she's the bride and she must have alot of things on her mind - or so I thought.
Then came the dinner. The bride and groom had to go around taking pictures with every table and when they reached mine, i put out my hand to shake hers and congratulated her ( cos I thought she was too busy to notice my smile before, and I didn't want to seem mean or worse, bitchy) she then gave me this half fuck smile, and touched the tip of my fingers. At this point, I started to think that maybe she doesnt like me and the ROM incident was actually on purpose. So I told our friends who were on the same table " I think the bride don't like me" and everyone was like "no la, she's busy", "why wouldn't she like you, this is the first time she met you lor"
So ok la, I thought I was just too sensitive. Then at the end of the dinner, we went out last so HM asked for a picture with us. I tried again. I said " you have so many pretty dresses!" she didn't even look at me, uttered "thnk" which I assumed was "thanks" and that's it. Then it was the saying bye part. We all queued up to shake both families' hands and congratulate them before going off. So i went, ben was in front of me, jason, our friend, was after. She was all nice and shaking everyone's hand but when it got to me, she again held the tip of my fingers for a brief second and she didn't even look at me when I said "congrats once again" damn rude right? This time, our friends saw and said to me " I can confirm that she doesn't like you" $$7%<€|~¥ I never do anything to you lor! And since by the end of the dinner I have also decided that I don't like her, I have concluded that she was jealous of me. Not like I'm super hot or super pretty but she was nice to EVERYONE INCLUDING MY HUSBAND, so to make myself feel better, I tell myself it's because she feels threatened by me. I was trying to be nice ok. Bitch.
The second kind: the stupid flirt
Ben got a MSG from someone we shall call DW2. The MSG started with "hi dear," I didn't think much of that la. Then I got my MSG "hey guys". Ok firstly, both were mass messages, so I'm not pissed cos I'm jealous she's calling my husband "dear". Its her right to call her friends whatever she wants and its also my right to judge her based on that. Haha. What I'm pissed about is the difference in both! If you did that to everyone, it would be better, at least you're just "liberal". Now, you're just a stupid flirt. So why the difference? Stupid bitch.
I hate hate hate these kinda girls.
Or rather, I despise them.
Strong words, but this is my blog.
If anyone at all is reading this, don't get all crazy and say that I'm too full of myself or whatever. My excuse is that I'm PMSing and I got the MSG this morning. Haha.
Ok I admit, I was ranting.
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cherie scribbled at 4:29 PM
Ok, I'm fucking pissed.
Ben is an ass. (what's new)
$*CCB#&KNNgt;€**
No fucking self control.
I hate men like that.
stop whenever you want to.
It's your life.
But only when you stop without me having to force it down your throat, then I'll think you're ready to be a father.
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cherie scribbled at 7:04 AM
Tuesday, March 27, 2012
so ben and i quarrelled yesterday.
about my job, actually more about me not earning any money.
i don't know.
i don't know what to do or how to move on from here.
what should i do?
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cherie scribbled at 7:21 PM
Sunday, March 25, 2012
And so the topic of having kids keep coming up.
The father in law was telling Ben and I that there's no need for us to get fit now. "wait until after the kid" his words.
My mum asked "when did you have your last period?"
This month, if anyone else is also wondering.
Everyone is suddenly very interested in my sex life.
Which is weird and creepy.
That's not all.
I was reading the newspaper (which i don't usually do) and there's this article that says Singaporeans are in danger of disappearing by 2100 if our birth rate doesn't go up.
1.2 births per woman last year. That makes us one of the lowest in the world.
I like kids. I want to have kids. I would like to have 6 kids.
I just have to figure out how to feed them.
And I also don't wanna be too old when I give birth.
That's my first mistake. Not planning ahead. But then again, I couldn't possibly have impregnated myself.
So the point is, I will have kids. I will have as many as I can tahan. So hopefully, I'm doing my part. Haha
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cherie scribbled at 7:40 PM
Ah! I haven't been blogging!
Everyone keeps asking if I'm pregnant already.
Not cos I look pregnant, or act pregnant but because I'm supposed to be.
Scary.
Nothing eventful the past week.
I'm getting old and boring.
Haha
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cherie scribbled at 7:57 AM
Tuesday, March 20, 2012
It's been awhile but I'm back!
Jennifer smsed me out of the blue to say that she read my old blog.
So that inspired me to read it too.
As I read each entry, I remembered what happened, how I felt, the joy and the tears.
I don't know why I stopped blogging.
I'm married! To Ben! Ok I just had to say that.
I wanna start blogging again so that in 10 years, I can look back and remember.
i just passed my 28th birthday.
it's depressing.
i'm getting older and i still have not acomplished anything.
on the bright side,
i got married to the (self-proclaimed) love of my life on 12 feb 2012.
we wrote own vows for the solemnisation.
i shall post mine here so that i will never lose it. (i also have it on my phone, in my email, i printed a hard copy, you get the drift la.)
"Ben, today i pledge to you what you've had all along - my eternal love.
As you know, i've always wanted to get married.
But that's not the reason why i' here today.
i'm here because you can hear me say "eternal love" and not cringe
you accept e for who i am, cheesiness and all
You have always been there for me, supported my every decision and i am grateful.
So if you'd let me, i'd like to do the same.
I will always love you
i vow to love you even when you're old, smelly and wrinkled
i vow to laugh, cry and dance with you whenever you need me to
i vow to love you even when i'm killing you in my head
i vow to be yours through the good and the bad
i vow to laugh during the awkward silence after you tell a joke
i vow to comfort, protect and honour you
i vow to take care of you when you finally get your knees replaced
i vow to love you the best way i know how, now and forever, to infinity and beyond
With this ring, I marry you."
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cherie scribbled at 1:15 AM
Thursday, July 12, 2007
i haven't blogged in so long i almost forgot my username and password for blogger.
*laughs*
ok ok.
i am one of those.
*nudge nudge*
eh, jenny, inside joke.
haha.
oh,
jennifer is working with me now.
so is neil and thad.
so yay!
i've got friends.
talking about friends, i tried but failed to get eugene goh jin kiat to come back.
i made myself sound very poor thing already.
but he still wants to stay there.
hmph.
i'll try more emotional blackmail the next time.
hahahahaha.*evil laughter*
and... AND....
a supposedly good friend has come back into my life.
and i am still stupid enough to trust her/him.
although most of you who read this should know who i'm talking about, i'm trying very hard not to reveal who he/she is ok.
well, let's put it this way, he/she will only come to look for me when she/he needs help.
and this time, i requested for his/her help and he/she said ok.
but... obviously this did not benefit him/her in any way so he/she pulled out last minute.
when i say last minute, i mean like 4 hours late kind of last min.
4 hours after the time he/she was supposed to help me.
and his/her excuse? "i was having a bad day."
oh my god, fuck off already.
i'm kinda sick of my life.
my job's great, my friends and family are amazing.
but...
i'm getting really tired of being alone.
it really sucks when you need someone and you supposedly have someone to be there for you but he's in another country and sleeping due to the time difference.
so what if the money's good?
i'd rather be happy than rich.
but he likes it. sigh.
we never agree on anything.
there's nothing i can do but wait.
but how long? we'll see.
too emo already.
eww.
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cherie scribbled at 7:14 AM
Sunday, April 08, 2007
you know, there are some girls that men love but women hate?
well, i know one.
she's a bitch.
i can't stand her.
she tried to steal my boyfriend. and denied it.
the worst thing is,
he claimed that they were just good friends.
and they still supposedly are just really good friends.
so, am i supposed to live with that?
his friends (all men, duh) are all crazy about her.
saying she's hot and all.
but she really isn't.
not a single one of ben's female friends like her.
maybe i'm just jealous. but i seriously doubt so.
she's fake, she's disgusting and so full of her bloody m********n self.
so what if she's a stewardess? she probably slept with someone to get that job.
i'm mean, evil, whatever.
i just really really can't stand her.
so fuck off bitch.
and i'll try not to slap your ugly face.
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cherie scribbled at 7:22 AM
Monday, March 05, 2007
- Put your iPod or MP3 player on random.
- Post the first line from the first 25 songs that play, no matter how embarrassing and let everyone you know guess what song and artist the line come from.
- Underline (or bold) the songs when someone guesses correctly. Post the results later.
- Yeah. One, two, princes kneel before you that's what I said, now
- They made up their minds and they started packing they left before the sun came up that day
- Hey, if we can't solve any problems. Why do we lose so many tears?
- Turn away, If you could get me a drink of water 'cause my lips are chapped and faded.
- All the people in the crowd, grab a partner take it down
- I read a note grandma wrote back in 1923. Grandpa kept it in his coat and he showed it once to me.
- A hundred days have made me older since the last time that i saw your pretty face.
- Welcome to the real world, she said to me. Condescendingly.
- I love it when they try to get intimate. Even though they know i really ain't into it
- I think you can do much better than me. After all the lies I made you believe.
- So, what am I not supposed to have an opinion. Should I keep quiet just because I'm a woman.
- Hai ping mian yuan fang kai shi yin mai. Bei shan yao zhe me ping jing chun bai.
- I watch the world around me crumble. But it's not like i won't build them up again.
- All the leaves are brown. And the sky is grey.
- On a dark desert highway, cool wind in my hair.
- Birds flying high, you know how i feel.
- Honey why you calling me so late. It's kinda hard to talk right now.
- You're the end of the rainbow, a pot of gold. You're daddy's little girl to have and hold.
- Momma please stop crying, i can't stand the sound. Your pain is painful and it's tearing me down.
- Baby, please try to forgive me. Stay here don't put out the glow.
- You only stay with me in the morning. You only hold me when I sleep.
- Today is gonna be the day that they're gonna throw it back to you.
- Living my life in a slow hell. A different girl every night at the hotel.
- Listen doctor I have pain that grows inside myself. Shelf me please I just can't ease the pain I need some drugs to help
- The smell of your skin lingers on me now. You're probably on your flight back to your home town.
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cherie scribbled at 6:33 AM
blogging is therapeutic.
my life is drama beyond drama.
after ben left,
i dated someone who was his friend.
they were not close friends but, close enough to make things complicated.
he was complicated too.
he loved his ex more than anything in the world.
and his ex hated my sister more than anything in the world.
everyone knows everyone.
so basically, that wasn't very good.
*laughs*
well, ben, he dated a stewardess called kim.
she's smart, pretty and well, a stewardess.
everything he ever wanted.
but now he's back.
and he wants me back.
he had everything he thought he wanted but now he wants me.
or so he says.
the perfect girl made him realise he wanted me back, more than anything else in the world.
i am skeptical. cos i am scared.
but he does seem different.
i don't know la.
complicated la.
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cherie scribbled at 5:57 AM
use me.
abuse me.
love me.
hate me.
take me for granted.
i will never make the same mistake again.
so now, will everyone please fuck off.
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cherie scribbled at 5:55 AM
Sunday, February 11, 2007
I havent blogged in ages!
*laughs*
ok, let me summarise everything.
i'm working now.
at citibank.
=)
and well, my love life is still nonexsistent.
and my social life is almost there.
ok lah.
the purpose of this post is to mention EWAN in here.
*laughs*
He wants me to tell everyone that i made him wait bloody long for me.
and that i owe him 13 cups of coffee. (he says that but i actually don't owe him anything)
haha.
well,he made me eat his banana yesterday.
i have pictures to prove it.
sitting by the beach at night and talking cock is therapeutic.
and sleeping in is great too.
ah, i had a great weekend.
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cherie scribbled at 6:48 AM
Tuesday, January 02, 2007
i broke someone's heart on new year's day.
someone who said that he'll hold my hand forever if only i let him.
i'm sorry.
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cherie scribbled at 9:39 PM
