i haven't blogged in so long i almost forgot my username and password for blogger.
*laughs*

ok ok.
i am one of those.
*nudge nudge*
eh, jenny, inside joke.
haha.

oh,
jennifer is working with me now.
so is neil and thad.
so yay!
i've got friends.

talking about friends, i tried but failed to get eugene goh jin kiat to come back.
i made myself sound very poor thing already.
but he still wants to stay there.
hmph.
i'll try more emotional blackmail the next time.
hahahahaha.*evil laughter*

and... AND....
a supposedly good friend has come back into my life.
and i am still stupid enough to trust her/him.
although most of you who read this should know who i'm talking about, i'm trying very hard not to reveal who he/she is ok.
well, let's put it this way, he/she will only come to look for me when she/he needs help.
and this time, i requested for his/her help and he/she said ok.
but... obviously this did not benefit him/her in any way so he/she pulled out last minute.
when i say last minute, i mean like 4 hours late kind of last min.
4 hours after the time he/she was supposed to help me.
and his/her excuse? "i was having a bad day."
oh my god, fuck off already.

i'm kinda sick of my life.
my job's great, my friends and family are amazing.
but...
i'm getting really tired of being alone.
it really sucks when you need someone and you supposedly have someone to be there for you but he's in another country and sleeping due to the time difference.
so what if the money's good?
i'd rather be happy than rich.
but he likes it. sigh.
we never agree on anything.
there's nothing i can do but wait.
but how long? we'll see.

too emo already.
eww.


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cherie scribbled at 7:14 AM

you know, there are some girls that men love but women hate?
well, i know one.

she's a bitch.
i can't stand her.
she tried to steal my boyfriend. and denied it.

the worst thing is,
he claimed that they were just good friends.
and they still supposedly are just really good friends.

so, am i supposed to live with that?

his friends (all men, duh) are all crazy about her.
saying she's hot and all.
but she really isn't.
not a single one of ben's female friends like her.
maybe i'm just jealous. but i seriously doubt so.
she's fake, she's disgusting and so full of her bloody m********n self.
so what if she's a stewardess? she probably slept with someone to get that job.
i'm mean, evil, whatever.

i just really really can't stand her.
so fuck off bitch.
and i'll try not to slap your ugly face.


|
cherie scribbled at 7:22 AM

- Put your iPod or MP3 player on random.

- Post the first line from the first 25 songs that play, no matter how embarrassing and let everyone you know guess what song and artist the line come from.

- Underline (or bold) the songs when someone guesses correctly. Post the results later.

1. Yeah. One, two, princes kneel before you that's what I said, now
2. They made up their minds and they started packing they left before the sun came up that day
3. Hey, if we can't solve any problems. Why do we lose so many tears?
4. Turn away, If you could get me a drink of water 'cause my lips are chapped and faded.
5. All the people in the crowd, grab a partner take it down
6. I read a note grandma wrote back in 1923. Grandpa kept it in his coat and he showed it once to me.
7. A hundred days have made me older since the last time that i saw your pretty face.
8. Welcome to the real world, she said to me. Condescendingly.
9. I love it when they try to get intimate. Even though they know i really ain't into it
10. I think you can do much better than me. After all the lies I made you believe.
11. So, what am I not supposed to have an opinion. Should I keep quiet just because I'm a woman.
12. Hai ping mian yuan fang kai shi yin mai. Bei shan yao zhe me ping jing chun bai.
13. I watch the world around me crumble. But it's not like i won't build them up again.
14. All the leaves are brown. And the sky is grey.
15. On a dark desert highway, cool wind in my hair.
16. Birds flying high, you know how i feel.
17. Honey why you calling me so late. It's kinda hard to talk right now.
18. You're the end of the rainbow, a pot of gold. You're daddy's little girl to have and hold.
19. Momma please stop crying, i can't stand the sound. Your pain is painful and it's tearing me down.
20. Baby, please try to forgive me. Stay here don't put out the glow.
21. You only stay with me in the morning. You only hold me when I sleep.
22. Today is gonna be the day that they're gonna throw it back to you.
23. Living my life in a slow hell. A different girl every night at the hotel.
24. Listen doctor I have pain that grows inside myself. Shelf me please I just can't ease the pain I need some drugs to help
25. The smell of your skin lingers on me now. You're probably on your flight back to your home town.

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cherie scribbled at 6:33 AM

blogging is therapeutic.

my life is drama beyond drama.

after ben left,
i dated someone who was his friend.
they were not close friends but, close enough to make things complicated.
he was complicated too.
he loved his ex more than anything in the world.
and his ex hated my sister more than anything in the world.
everyone knows everyone.
so basically, that wasn't very good.
*laughs*

well, ben, he dated a stewardess called kim.
she's smart, pretty and well, a stewardess.
everything he ever wanted.
but now he's back.
and he wants me back.
he had everything he thought he wanted but now he wants me.
or so he says.
the perfect girl made him realise he wanted me back, more than anything else in the world.
i am skeptical. cos i am scared.
but he does seem different.

i don't know la.
complicated la.


|
cherie scribbled at 5:57 AM

use me.
abuse me.
love me.
hate me.
take me for granted.

i will never make the same mistake again.

so now, will everyone please fuck off.


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cherie scribbled at 5:55 AM

I havent blogged in ages!

*laughs*

ok, let me summarise everything.
i'm working now.
at citibank.
=)

and well, my love life is still nonexsistent.
and my social life is almost there.

ok lah.
the purpose of this post is to mention EWAN in here.
*laughs*

He wants me to tell everyone that i made him wait bloody long for me.
and that i owe him 13 cups of coffee. (he says that but i actually don't owe him anything)
haha.
well,he made me eat his banana yesterday.
i have pictures to prove it.

sitting by the beach at night and talking cock is therapeutic.
and sleeping in is great too.

ah, i had a great weekend.


|
cherie scribbled at 6:48 AM

i broke someone's heart on new year's day.
someone who said that he'll hold my hand forever if only i let him.

i'm sorry.


|
cherie scribbled at 9:39 PM

ah, jennifer.
everyone should meet her.
*laughs*

i was walking home with her a few days ago and she asked me
"have you heard the rudolph the red nosed reindeer song properly?"
and i said yes lah (i mean who hasn't? ok other than jennifer. haha)"
"it's damn offensive. did you hear the "go down in history" part?"
"umm...yah."
"he does nothing and he goes down in history! i do nothing, how come i don't g down in history too?"
*cue laughter*
oh my goodness.
any more bimbotic, she's just gonna be an inflatable doll.

but then ah,
she's a GREAT friend too.
she brings me food when i have no money to eat.
forces me to eat when i have no appetite.
came all the way up to my house to drag me to go take my basic theory cos i was too depressed to go.
she plucks my eyebrows and paints my nails for me.
(she paints them pink like hers so that i can be as bimbotic. haha)



i love you lah.

phoebe.

*laughs*


|
cherie scribbled at 9:35 PM

Beyonce - Irreplaceable

To the left
To the left

To the left
To the left

Mmmm to the left
Everything you own in the box to the left
In the closet, thats my stuff
Yes, if I bought it, then please don't touch (don't touch)

And keep talking that mess, thats fine
Could you walk and talk, at the same time?
And its my name thats on that jag
So go move your bags, let me call you a cab

Standing in the front yard, telling me
How I'm such a fool, talking 'bout
How I'll never ever find a man like you
You got me twisted

You must not know 'bout me
You must not know 'bout me
I could have another you in a minute
Matter fact, he'll be here in a minute (baby)

You must not know 'bout me
You must not know 'bout me
I can have another you by tomorrow
So don't you ever for a second get to thinkin'
You're irreplaceable

So go ahead and get gone
Call up that chick, and see if shes home
Oops I bet you thought, that I didn't know
What did you think
I was putting you out for?
Because you was untrue
Rolling her around in the car that I bought you
Baby, drop them keys
Hurry up, before your taxi leaves

Standing in the front yard, telling me
How I'm such a fool, talking 'bout
How I'll never ever find a man like you
You got me twisted

You must not know 'bout me
You must not know 'bout me
I could have another you in a minute
Matter fact, he'll be here in a minute (baby)

You must not know 'bout me
You must not know 'bout me
I can have another you by tomorrow
So don't you ever for a second get to thinkin'
You're irreplaceable

So since i'm not your everything
How about i'll be nothing
Nothing at all to you

Baby i wont shed a tear for you
I won't lose a wink of sleep
Cos the truth of the matter is
Replacing you is so easy

To the left
To the left

To the left
To the left

Mmmm to the left
Everything you own in the box to the left
To the left
To the left
So don't you ever for a second get to thinkin'
You're irreplaceable

You must not know 'bout me
You must not know 'bout me
I could have another you in a minute
Matter fact, he'll be here in a minute (baby)

You must not know 'bout me
You must not know 'bout me
I can have another you by tomorrow
So don't you ever for a second get to thinkin'
You're irreplaceable


|
cherie scribbled at 12:36 PM

my life has never been more right when everything is going wrong.

i love my family.

my brother has been amazing.
the day ben and i broke up, shannon got his PSLE results.
he didn't do as well as he wanted to (though he tried his best)
but when i came home crying like a baby, sobbing out loud, he actually woke up just to sit there with me.
and he smsed me:



|
cherie scribbled at 6:58 AM

i have done what you wanted me to do,
but now, you'll go on and forget me.
you don't know how hard this is for me.

remember this?

John Legend - Ordinary People

Girl i'm in love with you
This ain't the honeymoon
Past the infatuation phase
Right in the thick of love
At times we get sick of love
It seems like we argue everyday

I know i misbehaved
And you made your mistakes
And we both still got room left to grow
And though love sometimes hurts
I still put you first
And we'll make this thing work
But I think we should take it slow

We're just ordinary people
We don't know which way to go
Cos we're ordinary people
Maybe we should take it slow
This time we'll take it slow
This time we'll take it slow

This ain't a movie no
No fairy tale conclusion ya'll
It gets more confusing everyday
Sometimes it's heaven sent
We head back to hell again
We kiss and we make up on the way

I hang up you call
We rise and we fall
And we feel like just walking away
But as our love advances
We take second chances
Though it's not a fantasy
I still want you to stay

We're just ordinary people
We don't know which way to go
Cos we're ordinary people
Maybe we should take it slow
This time we'll take it slow
This time we'll take it slow

Take it slow
Maybe we'll live and learn
Maybe we'll crash and burn
Maybe you'll stay, maybe you'll leave, maybe you'll return
Maybe you'll never find
Maybe we won't survive
But maybe we'll grow
You never know baby you and I


|
cherie scribbled at 8:52 AM

it has been 4 days.
4 very very long days.
not a single day i haven't thought about him.

i want Ben to want me back.
he's coming backfrom taiwan today and i'm scared.
i'm so scared i'm actually shaking.
i'm scared cos i want him to attempt to contact me.
but he might not. and i'm scared i'll just break.
i've been trying to be strong. for everyone. i don't want them to worry.
but this time, i might not be able to do it.

we were so good together.
one last chance. please.
but... i know my chance might not come.
i screwed it up.

but... what if we gave it another chance and it still doesn't work out?
i can't go through this again.
it hurts too much.

oh i give up.
fuck my pride and dignity.
i'll change.
please take me back.


|
cherie scribbled at 5:31 PM